Wow! It has now been a little over 5 months since my prophylactic mastectomy. The last 5 months consisted of a full time class schedule in law school, numerous appointments, expansions, and a lot of naps.
I do not think that anyone could have prepared me for what I was getting myself into. Every two weeks throughout the semester I had fluid added to my expanders which would typically leave me in pain for the two days following. Normally, that would be doable however my life is not normal. Attending class and studying for exams while in pain was not enjoyable by any means. But I did it. I received my final grades and ended up receiving my highest grades yet.
Even more exciting than high grades: new boobs! I never in a million years thought that I would be getting breast implants. I also never thought that I would be getting breast implants as a result of breast reconstruction. But what takes the cake: I never thought that I would be so excited about having surgery. I finished finals and had 5 days to prepare for surgery. Those were the longest 5 days of my life. I was in constant pain from my expanders and I was so excited to get rid of them and to be comfortable again.
I arrived at the surgery center on the morning of my surgery absolutely exhausted. I spent the night before anxiously thinking about my new ladies. Would they look too big? Would I be in as much pain as before? Would the fat grafting be successful? Would they even look natural? Well, more on the results later. Once I was prepped for surgery, I was lying in pre-op waiting for my surgeon to finish his first surgery when I was approached by a very smiley nurse. I should mention that my nurse was very nice but had a very dry personality. I actually really liked her. She seemed like a realist; I liked that. Anyway, my nurse and I were sitting in the pre-op room just chatting and poking fun at a number of things when another nurse entered the room. This nurse was very cheerful, almost too cheerful for 0800. She grabbed my hand, which I thought was really bizarre, and she began to tell me about her sister. She told me that her sister was an art professor at a very prestigious art school (the name of which I cannot remember now). Apparently her sister was very intrigued by the human anatomy and the many colors of flesh, tissue, muscle, etc. So, the nurse asked if her sister had my permission to observe my surgery. I immediately said yes-- no questions asked. She then told me that she would not take photos, notes, or draw in the operating room. Not a problem. My doctor approved it and the nurse and her sister thanked me, telling me that I had given them the greatest Christmas present. For those of you who do not know me well, Christmas is my obsession. I love everything about the holiday but most of all, I love to give to others. The gratitude that people exude and the look on people's faces when you give to them... There's nothing like it. I teared up a little when she told me how grateful they were because I was able to give back to someone else in a completely unexpected way, all as a result of my journey. Next, my plastic surgeon came in and began to draw on me. He noted a large bruise that I had on my arm; I admitted that I had been goofing around post-finals after drinking a little too much whiskey. Expecting to be scolded, he laughed and showed me a scar on his head and told me that whiskey was to blame. So, this morning was shaping up to be quite interesting. After Dr. Sinow left the room, I do not remember much.
I woke up from surgery extremely thirsty and wanting to see my parents and Alessandro. The nurse sat me up and helped me drink some water. I remember telling her that my pain was at a 3 (out of 10) and she handed me two Percocet followed by a dose of Dilaudid. I had zero pain after that. Dr. Sinow came in to check on me and told me that everything went great and that he had to put in smaller implants than expected. I cried. He left and I got to see my family. They put me in my spandex girdle and put my clothes on me and sent me on my way. I spent the rest of the day sleeping off the anesthesia.
The next day I decided to peek at my new boobies. Holy moly! They were huge! As the swelling has dissipated I am able to see what they will look like. I love them. I feel so lucky to have the surgeon that I do. I find myself staring at them often. They are a great size, they are symmetrical, they are soft, the incisions look great, and I can only imagine how great they will look once I have my nipple reconstruction.
I am almost 2 weeks post-op and I feel great, despite an acute sinus infection. I was able to celebrate Christmas with loved ones, as well as New Year's Eve. This recovery was a piece of cake compared to my first surgery. My chest burned which is typical after fat grafting but I had no really bad pain. What hurt more were my legs. The fat was removed from my thighs through an incision on my hips which proved to be quite painful. However, I feel about 90% as I sit here today. I am hoping to be 100% in 12 days when I start school again.
As I reflect on my decision to undergo these surgeries, I could not be happier. I know that I made the right decision. A family/work friend of my mom and I has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. When she told me, my stomach sank. It brought back many emotions. She was diagnosed almost exactly 5 years after my mom. I was sitting in my doctor's office waiting for my post-op appointment when she told me the news and it took everything in my power not to burst into tears. Fortunately, her prognosis seems positive. She is a young and bright attorney who has seen a lot of success. She has become a mentor to me. Even more so now; she will be a breast cancer survivor, a warrior. I am reminded that cancer does not discriminate. It does not care what your plans are, it does not always care about your age, your profession, or your schedule. Yes, I had a higher chance due to my genetic mutation, but even with the general population statistics, breast cancer does not abide by the rules.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I made the right choice and I sit here almost completely put back together feeling empowered. I feel as though it is my time. I only have 3 semesters left of law school and once I am finished, I hope to change lives. I cannot wait to share my life and my story with others and to make a difference in the way that I know best, through advocacy.
Thank you to all of my friends, my family, and my amazing boyfriend for supporting me throughout the last year. In exactly 7 days it will be one year since I met a surgeon who would change my life. He supported my decision to become a previvor and provided me with amazing results. From here I will continue to heal, I will have the final touches completed, and I will begin physical therapy with a lymphedema specialist. Here's to 2013! I am so excited to see what the future has to offer as I may now face it without the looming cloud that used to be breast cancer.
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